Clarance the artificial tandem stoker.

Clarance has two headsets for hips and his feet are attached to the pedals with innertubes. His legs move with the pedals, but it's all an illusion. That thing that looks like a wiener actually slides over the seat post of the bike, which is how he likes it. Clarance is a lazy bastard and doesn't help out at all but at least he has a water bottle cage to hold various beverages.