"Stealth" Specialized Sirrus

this bitch been crashed on.
1-dented downtube on signpost
2-cracked rear wheel between cars
3-snapped chain and bent the fuck out of chainrings after mass (don't remember how)
4-gouged various bits when front wheel locked up and flipped
5-snapped left crank in half against a mail truck (or whatever the fuck they're called)

despite the fact that it's aluminum, it's been a good bike, and the name is stealth (which is a lot more fitting when you see it after being freshly rattle-canned). it's even got gloriously overpriced campy brake/shift cables to prove it's fancyiess